CrossRoads Farm

"Write it Down"

26 March, 2005 - 9:55 am

Thursday night I was doing the dishes and chatting with H about Surprises vs. Secrets. Surprises are good, and secrets are not. So she walks up to me and says, ‘I have a secret I think you should know.” I took a deep breath and asked her what it was. “I’ve never really liked you before. But now I do.”

What???

I was upset, and confused. I mentioned it to D and he tried to talk to her. She told him she wasn’t really sure what she meant. Later, at bedtime, I talked to her about it again and she said she was trying to get used to liking me, but it was very hard.

I was crushed.

I probably overreacted. I kissed her goodnight, went back down to the family room and cried my eyes out. D gets major brownie points for patience on this one. He said, “I’m not questioning your reaction, but I don’t think she meant that the way you think she did.” He told me it was very likely that H just recently realized that I’m an actual human being and not just the fixture known as “Mommy”. Then he pointed out that this was a step in the right direction. She didn’t say, “I used to like you….”

Well, it still bothered me. Don’t know why. Because of course she didn’t mean it the way it sounded. So I went to her Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. K.

I explained the situation and she said, “Oh how wonderful!” Not with sarcasm but with a genuine attitude of happiness. She hugged me and said, “Your husband is right. She is realizing that you are a person, with a life, and a first name. And what’s more you are a likable person. Go home and write this down. Hold onto it and years from now when H reads it she’ll think ‘I actually said that to Mom?’” Mrs. K went further and explained to me how amazing it was that not only would my six year old realize these feelings and be able to sort them out but also feel it was important to let me know.

I told her that I was the sort of Mom who was prepared for a teenager screaming, “I HATE you!” from across the room. But I wasn’t expecting anything like this.

”No,” replied Mrs. K “But you’ve got H.”

We are so Screwed….heh.

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