CrossRoads Farm

Subversive Sponge

21 January, 2005 - 3:52 pm

I should preface this entry by saying that the only TV news I watch is “Good Morning America” while I stand at the family room window and watch for the kid’s bus. It is the least offensive of the morning shows – Katie Couric makes me homicidal with rage. The second the kids are on the bus I shut the TV off or, during football season, switch it to Sportscenter. I absolutely refuse to watch CNN. Every time I break down and put them on I am horribly disappointed by the amount of bias and out right stupidity I find on that channel. I think I’d rather watch Karie Couric. And , alas, we don’t get Fox News.

This morning I saw a story on “Good Morning America” that should leave me outraged. But I’m not.

I’m just plain confused.

The We Are Family Foundation has produced a music video of the song ‘We are Family” featuring celebrities, cartoon characters, Muppets and other characters our kids watch. The idea of the video is to teach tolerance. The clip I saw of the video was just a bunch of edits from one show to the next – Blues Clues, Clifford, Sesame Street and (Oh No!) SpongeBob Squarepants. So here’s where this story spins right out of control for me.

Apparently SpongeBob is gay. I don’t know. I’ve never watched the show – all I can be sure of is that he’s a cartoon character, not to mention a sponge (aren’t sponges asexual??) and therefore probably isn’t having sex with anybody. Off the tangent for a moment SpongeBob is said to be gay because he holds hands with his friend, a pink starfish known as Patrick Star – also a cartoon character, also asexual….still not seeing the problem.

But the mere appearance of SongeBob in the video is enough to make the fine people at Focus on the Family apoplectic. How dare anyone try to teach tolerance? Why that could lead to – World Peace!

**slow deep breath**

If you look around for a moment or two at the home page of the We Are Family Foundation website you’ll notice a link to the “Tolerance Pledge.” It is two short paragraphs that basically say the every person is a treasure and that intolerance leads to bigotry. The last sentence is, apparently, what upsets the fine people at Focus on the Family. It says:

I pledge to have respect for people whose abilities, beliefs, culture, race, sexual identity or other characteristics are different from my own.

My Goddess, they must be stopped. You know how dangerous respect can be.

It must be because the Golden Rule doesn’t apply if your neighbor happens to be a gay sponge.

The Focus on the Family representative on GMA this morning feared that the video would “promote homosexuality.” I’m not even sure what that means. Being gay is like a new brand of toothpaste? “Try it, you’ll like it?” I don’t really know how the whole sexually identity thing works, but I do know that you can’t catch it, and you can’t be talked into it.

But most important – I’m clear that Spongebob is a sponge

On the upside? I now have that damn song in my head.

…..we are family…….get up everybody and sing….

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